A Little Experiment

I have been conducting a little experiment in the last few weeks. I decided that before I go back to work, I wanna see if I could be more patient and peaceful. This decision was spurred by a comment by one of my friends who noted that staying at home had made me a nicer and more patient person. I knew that I was impatient and sometimes aggressive. Ok, I'm impatient and aggressive. But I was still surprised at her comment. In the last couple of months, I did notice that I smile more and lose my temper less frequently, except for a few days every month.

I also wanted to see if I did my part in being a nice s'porean, would other s'poreans reciprocate? The first and most difficult test of one's patience is on the s'pore roads. I started by not driving in a hurried manner because when speed gets the adrenaline pumped up, hell some how breaks loose. I also tried to be courteous by waving my hand and smiling to the driver when I need to cut his lane in a crowded situation and consciously gave way to other cars. For this experiment, I would say 75% of the time, drivers reacted by being less aggressive. They did not horn at me and some times gave way to me. I was also less stressed out. I was amazed at the power of hand-waving. I guess drivers tend not to be nice because we are all boxed up in steel containers and we couldn't communicate other than by horning or hand gestures (good and bad ones), so a friendly wave is a good way to say, 'thanks' or 'excuse me, please'.

Note to self: Use friendly hand-waving often.

A new korean family shifted in next door a few weeks ago. I had wanted to start a conversation with the woman, who always brings her son for a walk, but never made eye contact with me. One day, while in the lift, I saw the boy holding a ball, so I said 'hi' to him and asked him if he liked playing ball. The mother smiled at me and we started talking. Score!

Note to self: Don't be afraid to initiate a conversation with strangers.

Like most people, I buy things for my parents, especially food, when it is convenient. But recently when the weather became unbearably hot, I drove all the way to bedok camp to buy the famouse 'qing tang' for my dad and my parents-in-law. As my dad owns a provision shop in the heartlands, the heat gets to him more than others. I bought 'qing tang' and lunch for him a couple of times for the last few weeks. My dad is not a man of many words or affection but I knew he appreciated my gesture when he bought me a packet of my favourite 'bak kwa' 2 days ago. He is a good father but also a very busy one, so I can count with my fingers the number of times he actually bought stuff for me. As for my mother-in-law, it was a long-drawn test of patience. However, it was worth it because her attitude towards me also became warmer over the years.

Note to self: Investment in people always reaps rewards no matter how long it takes.

I realise that in the past I was so busy and distracted that I hardly bothered to build relationship with others, even my family and friends. It was always 'touch and go'. It was the same in my relationship with God. When I stopped work, I was less distracted and I made a conscious effort to understand my kids better and spend more time with my parents. I also begin to spend more time praying and studying God's words and see that being a perfectionist is more harmful than useful. To have peace in my life, I find that being efficient yet not getting upset over mistakes or oversights is the way to go. Because, 10 years from now, I will forget those silly incidents but I will remember that I have made a difference in my relationship with people that matter.

Father's Love Letter

What is Father's Love Letter?

Father's Love Letter is a compilation of Bible verses from both the Old & New Testaments that are presented in the form of a love letter from God to us.

There are testimonies from thousands of people all over the world who have had a life-changing encounter with God while experiencing the message found in Father's Love Letter. Since 1999, this message has been downloaded from http://www.fathersloveletter.com/ in 85+ languages from people in over 125 nations. It has also appeared as full page newspaper ads and has even delivered to every home in entire nations.

This letter is the best love letter one can ever read and receive. I like the audio version. Sounds like Kenny Rogers :)

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/audio.html

Father's Love Letter

My Child, You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

Our Happy Weight

I read in Feb issue of the American magazine, Self, that 87% of normal weight women wish they weighed less. I think we should stop obsessing and aiming for unrealistic weight that people in hollywood and the entertainment industries are falsely representing.

The mag recommends a formula to calculate our happy weight, weight that we should be happy with. See below:

Multiply your height in inches by itself (to convert cm to inches, divide by 2.5), then multiply by 0.031. (The answer will be in pounds). This is our weight at a body-mass index of 22, in the middle of the healthy range. But there are many factors that can contribute to our happy weight.

Multiply the number above by 0.95 if you have small frame and by 1.05 if you have big frame.

Add 1 pound if a family member is obese.

Add 2 pounds for each decade you are over 20.

Add 5 pounds if you have had kids.

Subtract 1 pound if you exercise and weight train once a week and subtract 2 pounds if you do so 3 times a week and subtract 3 pounds if you do so 5 or more times a week.

Add 4 pounds if you smoked at least a pack a day for a year or more and have quit.

Add 1 pound if you allow yourself a treat now and then.

Add the numbers to get your happy weight. To get your happy weight in kg, just divide the final number by 2.2.

All this time, I have been beating myself up for being way too fat. Even the doctors advise me to lose weight in order to keep my blood pressure on a healthy level. Although some people told me I look fine for a mother of 2, and my hubby loves me the way I am (and tells me he doesn't like skinny girls), I still get upset every time I step on the scale, thinking that I will never ever get close to my ideal weight. After doing this happy weight formula, I discover that I'm not that far off from my happy weight. I'm happy enough just knowing that it's an achievable goal. This gives me motivation to lose that last few kg. Many women give up because we compare ourselves with celebrities and those women in slimming ads and think 'I will never look like that'. But we don't have to. We lead real, less-than-glamorous lives and we all have different lifestyles. It is good to maintain a good and healthy weight but there is no need to starve ourselves and feel guilty when we gain a little weight. Life is really too short to waste time worrying about a little weight. So, I'm going to continue enjoying my chocolates every now and then and try to hit the gym as often as I can. Bottom line is: Being healthy is more important then being slim.

Fighting Common Illness the Natural Way

I am down with flu, together with half of the world's population. Saw the doc last monday but still having the sniffles. The doc had persuaded me to take antibiotics but I resisted because I wanted my body to fight it out. Looks like the virus is winning. I know it takes longer to heal without antibiotics but that's really not the natural way to heal. For the past 4 months while at home, my princes and myself have not seen the doc, except for myself last monday. They had a bit of cough and some runny noses now and then but I just let them fight out the illness on their own and at the same time providing good nutrition and supplements. I think taking too much medicine is harmful to the body. Now, I can afford to go by the natural route but when I return to work, I will not have the luxury of time. Docs usually only give a maximum of 2 days MC, so I may succumb to quick fixes again. Sigh...

Some kind docs have candidly told me that constant intake of medicine can harm the kidneys and other organs, even something as mild as panadol. There are always natural remedies for common illnesses. Of course, when the illness is serious, better be good and take all the necessary medication.

I found the following to be useful when having cold/flu:

• gargle throat with salt water
• drink lots of fluid
• drink homemade ginger water (just throw some ginger slices and cube sugar (bing tang) into boiling water to cook for abt 10 min)
• sleep and rest a lot
• skip the gym (walking outdoors is ok though)

Few Good Men... in Singapore?

In my recent conversations with my friends, we all lamented that there are no more good men left in s'pore. One of my friends told me that many of her colleagues' husbands are cheating on the wives, and these are good-looking wives. Some other friends also complain about their husbands/ boyfriends being dumb or numb or a bump. They all put the blame on the men. Although I think cheating men are scums and that most men are dumb, I also feel that women need to do some self-reflection. Not saying that women who have unfaithful men are to be blamed but it's good to examine why they find another woman more attractive. Some men are just naturally scumbags but some may have wives who are just difficult to live with.

People have said that S'pore women are not that easy to deal with. My hubby once told me that if he wasn't married to me, he would have stayed single or get himself an exotic wife. Granted that statement needs to be discounted in view of the 'scoring brownie point' factor, I will not disagree with him. We are aggressive, unforgiving and sometimes unreasonable, and that's me included. Our men here have a hard time managing us.

I do admire kick-ass girls, like one of my friends who will not hesitate to give some kids a piece of her mind when she overheard them criticising about their parents in public. Or another one who scolded a man for not giving up his seat for a pregnant lady in the MRT. However, sometimes in our eagerness to appear assertive, we kick wrong innocent asses or injure some asses unnecessarily. I, myself, sometimes find it hard to stand my ground and remain gracious in this city of competition - for seats, for sale items, for our voices to be heard. One classic example, I went to a movie with my kid and brought along our lunches. The ticketing guy stopped me at the entrance and told me that I could not bring outside food into the cinema, despite the fact that I have bought popcorn and soft drink from the cinema vendor. I demanded to see the manager, who insisted that I collect the food from him after the movie. That got me mad. I gave him a big piece of my mind and stormed into the cinema depsite his protests. Although it was a stupid rule, on hindsight, I could have dealt with it better. I'm not saying that all s'pore women are bitches but sometimes, we assert our rights a little too much and it can be scary.

Another thing about women, which is universal, is that we enter into relationships with unrealistic expectations. We can't expect a man who knows no difference between Tiffany and Taka jewelry to suddenly be an expert in buying us excellent gifts. Men get confused when we get angry over things like this. It's not their fault. They are slow-learners. And when you ask them to help with housework, just shut up and let them do their stuff. As long as the house is not on fire and the kids are not lost or hurt, let them rule the house for that moment. If your husband is housework-duh, teach him patiently and allow mistakes.

The way I see it is, men are like children. Set some basic rules and agreement that cannot be compromised, e.g., be home by 11pm or no divulging of couple secrets/bedroom matters to outsiders, etc. As for the rest, go with the flow. Choose your battles wisely and don't sweat the small stuff. This way, the world is a lot more peaceful and you have a partner who appreciates you for not running down his back all the time. This marriage thing is not easy. After 13 years of ups and downs and ins and outs, I'm still figuring it out. Thing is, men and women are very different yet similar. We have different likes (for men, it's basically sex and for women it's shopping) and dislikes (for some men, it's shopping, for some women, it's sex). But for sure, both men and women share one thing in common - we want to love and feel loved, respected and appreciated. So if we work on the similarities more than the differences, we should be alright.

Switzerland - 14 Aug 2008 - Last Day...

Last day at Switzerland...

I woke up and opened the kitchen window for the last time to breathe in some fresh air and thought about going back home. I missed the kids and wanted to see them but I also wanted to stay longer. I guess there will never be such thing as a perfect holiday. When we travel with the kids, we have so many things to consider and spend much time entertaining them but when we travel without them, we miss them.

I woke my hubby up to take our last morning walk in zurich. We took some pictures of the forest path where we walked most mornings, enjoying the fresh air and scenery as we talked. In s'pore, we hardly have time to talk and spend time with each other as he is always travelling. I think the past 10 days had been good for us, to relax and just be with each other.

After we packed the last of our stuff, we called the cab. While my hubby loaded our luggage onto the cab, I gave ah kin a hug and told her we would meet again in 1 and half month's time. As the cab drove off, ah kin's face looked a bit lost. I was a little worried for her cos she likes company and she loves to talk, but I knew that she would be alright. In fact, I think the half a year stay in swit has made her a stronger woman. Ah kin, you go girl! And until we meet again, fatten up please.


The path of peace and happiness. Why can't we have forest paths like this in s'pore? Our parks are just too neat and contrived.

A mini 'water-fall' from the river along the walking path.

The tress with red berry-like fruits.

The morning walk route.

We saw this quaint little country-like cafe in the swiss international airport.

The returning flight is never as good as the out-going flight. The former felt more bearable because of the anticipation and the latter just have a tinge of sadness, of a holiday that is over way too quickly. When we reached home, I had a short nap before meeting the kids for lunch. When the kids saw us, they flew to hug us. It was a nice feeling and the sadness of leaving switzerland was gone. Afterall, it is just a holiday. Our home is right here.

8 things we like about swit:

1. Fresh air - plenty of it
2. Hiking and living in the alps and mountains - not just admiring them from a distance but being in tune with them, 'becoming one with them'. So zen!
3. Chocolates - the fresh ones are very good but expensive but those from the Lindt and Sprungli Chocolate Factory are yummy and cheap
4. Real - although I complain about swit being tourist-unfriendly, it has managed to retain its authenticity and culture and has not been contaminated by the rest of the world yet.
5. Sausages and rosti, although we got sick of them after a week
6. Ovalmaltine - like nutella but with crispy bits. We polished off 1 bottle in less than a week.
7. Bread - the bread is always nice, even if it's a day old
8. Swiss made products - I have confidence in them as they are good and lasting

Seealpsee region, Appenzellerland

Ebenalp, Appenzellerland

St Gallen Church

Appenzell Town

Switzerland - 13 Aug 2008 - Lindt & Sprungli Chocolate Factory and Bellevue Old Town

Day before departure...

Time to shop for some souvenirs to bring home. We all decided that chocolate would be the best and most thoughtful gift (and economical too ;p). Uncle tan's friend recommended the Lindt Chocolate factory, which was in Schooren, about 11 stops from Bellevue on tram no. 165. Before we even entered the place, our olfactory senses were smack with the sweet sweet smell of coco. When we entered the place, it was like chocolate heaven - lots and lots of chocolates at low low prices. The chocolates here were like 40 to 60% cheaper than those in town areas but some of the packaging was not as nice la. Aiya, who cares about packaging as long as the contents are equally yummy? So my hubby and I started piling our baskets with chocolates in all flavours and sizes. While we went on a chocolate frenzy, ah kin calmly surveyed the area and mentally planned what to buy when she goes back in 1 and half months' time. We walked out of the store with 4 big bags and about SF150 worth of chocolates. At the tram stop, we began to worry how we were going to pack our horde of precious into the luggage.

We ate lunch at Little Saigon, which sold very expensive 'chap cai beng'. It was near to the tram stop from ah kin's house. Then we left the chocolates at ah kin's house and headed out to do some last minute shopping. We left ah kin at home to 'jaga' the chocolates. No la, she had too much excitement from the chocolate factory excursion that we asked her to stay at home to rest.

On our way to chocolate heaven.

The place that provided pleasure for the eyes, nose and tongue. Too bad there was no guided tour of the factory. Could only buy chocolates.

At the tram-stop outside the factory, waiting for Mr Sim to take picture. Ah kin: "Aiya, your hubby very 'beh zi dong' leh. Take picture so long. He don't know my hands are itching for those chocolates meh?!" Suisui: 'Cool down. The chocolates will still be there one. Give you one chocolate from my pocket first la." Great picture story huh? ;p

Four big bags of precious. Mua ha ha...

In our afternoon shopping spree, I bought a flik flak watch each for jeremy and myself since joshua already had a watch. I also bought a pair of cerjo sunglasses as my existing one had scratches. My favourite phrase which I had mastered very well during this trip was 'I need this.' These were swiss-made products so should last me for some time. Didn't buy any swatch as the prices were similar to s'pore's. Throughout the entire swiss stay, my proudest find was my red wind-breaker cos I couldn't find a similar one at about S$100, which was my budget. Then it was the brown leather belt which I bought out of need as I forgot to bring my belt. This belt held up my jeans for the entire swiss stay. I bought the belt from Tally Weijl, which is like Fox in s'pore at only SF9.90.

Some of the things I bought during my swiss stay. Clockwise from top: pink top from Schaffhausen at SF9.90, orange dye shirt from tally weijl at SF5, pink sweater from zara kids at SF9.90 (I also bought an orange sweater from zara kids at same price which I wore to appenzell), green tank top from tally weijl at SF5, white t from Schaffhausen at SF3.95 and sheer flower blouse from C&A at SF12.90. I also bought a green dress from C&A at SF14.90. As a reputed budget-hunter, I only look out for stuff that were cheap and nice or it had to be unique to interest me. I have too much clothes so I had to be very selective.

In the evening, we all met uncle tan at the main train station and walked to Bellevue for dinner. He had made a reservation at Restaurant Swiss Chuchi for cheese fondue. While entering the restaurant, I spotted 2 big men eating this sausage and rosti meal. I knew I told myself no more sausages for the rest of the swiss stay but this one called out to me. And it turned out to be a beautiful relationship. This beauty had cheese and bacon wrapped inside and out with some yummy brown sauce. It was a pleasurable but short-lived romance.

Showing off my new cerjo sunglasses.

Our first cheese fondue meal. The alcohol was a bit strong but the cheesy crusty residue towards the end was marvelous. We had fun scrapping them off.

Although this was the second time we went to Bellevue, we did not explore the place cos the previous time, my hubby was climbing the tower while I was busy shopping. A rather nice place to walk. Very crowded for a Wednesday evening.

The cheese fondue left us all very thirsty, so we went around looking for a place to drink. Then we chanced upon this remote place with many people eating al fresco, so we decided to walk in. The interior was a pleasant surprise. It was like entering into a tropical country, with palm trees and bamboo fans and lots of tropical plants. The owner, who must be mexican, was very hospitable, shouting for us to go right in. Although we only ordered 2 beer (futchsberg) and 2 desserts (chocolate cake and vanilla ice-cream and some creme brulee with fruits that came with burning alcohol), he gave us a plate of complimentary snack - some fried banana with salsa.

We took a tram back to Smiede Wiedikon and on the tram ride, somehow the topic of 's**t' came about. It was a gross but funny way to end the outing.

The first dessert. The second dessert suffered a quick demise before we had a chance to take a picture of it.



Two empty plates, very well cleared out and 4 very happy stomachs.

The night view of Bellevue was beautiful.


Passed by Migros on our way back. Migros, our favourite 'NTUC' in swiss. We went there a couple of times in the morning at about 8am to get fresh bread and croissant.

Schmiede Wiedikon, the region where ah kin stays. I like the sound of the name.

The tram station where all our journeys began. Rather sad not to see it again.

Tomorrow we would bid farewell...