Patience

Margart Thatcher, United Kingdom's first woman PM, once said, 'I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.' That pretty much sums up how I live my life in motion, but not necessarily how I want to continue moving forward.

I try to analyse a recent very ugly confrontation with a road bully and came to an obvious conclusion on the cause of it. This is how it went: The green arrow appeared. I horned at the guy in front, who was obviously in la la land. He didn't move, so I horned again. He moved but the arrow was blinking. Then in an obvious attempt to p***ed me off further, he blocked my path. I horned some more. The middle finger emerged from his car window. In the next traffic junction, I practically flew out of my car and assaulted the guy's window, which he closed after his very rude gesture and which he stubbornly (or cowardly) refused to open. He relented when the knocks became violent. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Why you have the guts to show me the middle finger but have no guts to open the window?
Guy: Why you horn at me?
Me: Because the light turned green and you are not moving, so I am reminding you to move.
Guy: But why must remind? (This question sounded incredibly stupid at that time and infuriated me further. Meanwhile, the cars behind us were horning as the light had turned green.)
Me: Because you are a blur f***!!!

Then I stormed off, expecting more touble from the guy but he drove very slowly and at a distance behind me. When I told my hubby and my father in law about this incident, they said that the guy was probably in shock - a woman had got off her car to confront him. And we all concluded that he is a coward who bullies the weak.

On hind sight, I think it was impatience that got this whole thing started. I was impatient that he reacted so slowly to traffic conditions and he was angry that I was impatient. Although it seems I am perfectly justified, I don't feel proud of my actions. The vulgar language was unnecessary even though my impatience was tested to the limit. I am not a confrontational person. I am not even a social person - I won't speak unless I have to. Socialisation and confrontation are 2 big stressors for me, yet I'm faced with these on a daily basis. I tell people that I will do pretty well living in a cave where I can focus on breathing and relaxing and being patient. Well, maybe I will be OK for a couple of weeks or so. I still need to be with loved ones and go shopping but I'm sure a period of solitude will do me a world of good.