Singapore Arts Festival Opening - Viewing at Indochine

We went to watch the opening of the Arts Fest, Water Fools, on 23 May. My hubby brought us to Indochine Restaurant to dine and watch the performance from there. It was also an opportunity to celebrate my birthday. Although it was a nice gesture, we couldn't see much of the going-ons. And the food that we ordered that day did not sit well with us. The bill afterwards also caused me to sweat a little. However, the fire works towards the end was spectacular, especially when I'm enjoying it with my favourite guy. So the whole outing was worth it. Not to mention I have not been out much since my no pay leave in Apr.

I like this pix of us. We hardly take pictures together and he smiled nicely in this pix. Some people may not call that a smile, more like a smirk, like one of my friends call it. But it's good enough for me. To other people he may seem aloof and arrogant, but he is the sweetest thing to me :)

The Polyclinic

Today, I had my first experience as a patient in the polyclinic. Of course, when my children were babies (at least 6 years ago), they had all their injections there because it cost much lesser than the private clinics. But I had never actually went through an outpatient consultation process in a polyclinic before. Or maybe with the babies and my husband with me, it didn't seem so unbearable at that time. It was really a tiring and humbling experience. I was there for 2 and a half hours and got to see the doctor, who looked like he was fresh out of school, for a mere 5 minutes and half the time he was not even looking at me but busy writing down stuff on a yellow file.

Fortunately, clever old me had asked my ENT specialist to write down my condition and some medical history for the polyclinic doctor when I went for my post-op follow-up this morning. Otherwise, I might have to talk really quickly and worry if he knows the difference between andenoids and tonsils. If not for the fact that my specialist had recommended immunotherapy (a procedure where the expert finds out allergies and the triggers), and that it is a long-drawn and expensive process, I would have rather paid the extra $20 or so to see a private GP. I guess you have to have a lot of time when you are poor in order to see a doctor in the polyclinic. But then again, when one is poor, time is also precious, an opportunity cost, not unlike the middle- and upper-middle class citizens.

But I guess I shouldn't complain. Singapore's health care system is still more advance and friendly than other countries. I read some where that in the UK, some patients have to wait up to a year to get a surgery or operation scheduled. My next appointment is in 2 weeks. I'm being a typical Singaporean - impatient, easily irritated, a damn good complainer and a damn bad customer.

Sleepness in Simei

Going to dream land every night is something we all take for granted. You go to bed, put your head on the pillow and drift off to sleep. Simple. Almost instinctive and natural. For some of us who suffer from insomnia, sleep can be a dreadful affair. For the past 2 years, I've been struggling to breathe normally as I attempt to meet my dreams every night. Breathing. That's another natural thing that living thing do well without any help. Who wouldn't know how to breathe, right? When I first told my husband about my breathlessness, he was incredulous - breathing is natural! How can you not breathe naturally?

Many people do not understand my ailment, except for a fellow colleague who also suffered the same cursed symptom some months ago. Her doctor diagnosed her as having chronic fatigue syndrome. She has recently retired and recovering. I'm not so lucky. My diagnosis has ranged from anxiety disorder to weak lungs to stress to sensitive blocked nose. And I have seen a myriad of experts - from psychiatrist to hypnotist to chinese physician to Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. I have had my tonsils removed, andenoids (some swollen tissue in the nostrils) removed, my body poked with needles, steamed, kneeded, doused with chinese and western medicine. I am still unfortunately and frustratingly breathless and sleepless.

And the darnest thing is I have spent a lot of money just to get back to square one. Not square one, more like minus one because my breathing is getting worse, even in day time. And despite the andenoid surgery, my nose is still blocked. I think God must have some brilliant plan for me to endure all these for 2 years. I got angry with Him, then desperate, then angry again. Being God is not easy. He has to be very patient with silly mortal beings like us who do not understand our sufferings. I am being sarcastic. Well, I can't possibly be jolly when I am suffocating every few minutes..... Frankly, I'm ashamed of being so faithless.

I find comfort in the following words though.

"Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and inflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:4-5

"Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases. Psalm 103:2-3

"The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. " Psalm 23

"Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"You’ve come to a place in your life where you can’t turn around, yet you can’t see how to go forward. Like the children of Israel you are at the Red Sea of your life. I have not brought you this far to leave you. I brought you into the wilderness and I will lead you out. Lift your head high and praise Me. Praise Me until the Red Sea in your life opens. Walk, walk on, do not be afraid. Lo I am with you always, even until the end of the earth. I am your God. Use what I have given you. Walk on, I am waiting for you. "
http://www.wherepeacefulwaters.com/newsletters/god_where_are_you.htm