Why God made little boys

I had always thought that I would be one of those stratford moms - calm and always so sophisticated, never yelling at my children, who, by the way, would always be clean and well-behaved. I also imagined that I would have dainty daughters to go high-tea and shopping with and share all the girly secrets with. When my princes were babies, they were oh-so-cute and sweet.

In recent years, they suddenly grew out of their baby-cuteness and became... gasp! Boys! To the uninitiated, esteemed mom of boys need to be tough. Not just tough in a physical sense, but tough as in I-don't-buy-your-s**t tough. And you must learn to take in all kinds of nonsense (such as gruesome jokes of s**t, violent display of 'boy play', dramatic phoney bambi-eye moments) without batting an eyelid. It's crucial for survival in this testosterone-jungle.

I was recently hit with a giddy aura of smelly shirts and loud noises at my older prince's birthday. At 11, he only wanted to invite boys to his birthday party as 'girls were silly and annoying'. In the short span of 3 hours, I witnessed shouting, laughter, quarelling, wrestling, teasing, vomitting, messy food area and dirty faces and feet. At some point during the party, I told my friend that if this had been a girl's party, it would have been a lot neater, quieter and saner. She looked at me sympathetically and agreed whole-hearted as she also has a boy.

But then during the party, I also saw my older prince standing up for my friend's 6-year boy who was trying hard to snatch the basketball from the bigger boys. I saw him passing the ball to the little fellow and hoisting him close to the net to score a point. His little friend was grinning happily when everyone cheered for him. My heart exploded with pride. I never thought much about how lovable boys can be.

I began to count all the ways that having boys is good for mothers and felt blessed and lucky to be the mother of my princes.

There is a poem entitled 'Why God Made Little Boys' which really describes how boys should be appreciated - as they are - funny and courageous.

God made a world out of His dreams,
Of magic mountains, oceans and streams;
Prairies and plains and wooded land.
He then paused and thought,
"I need someone to stand on top of the mountains,
To conquer the sea,
Explore the plains and climb the trees,
Someone to start out small and grow sturdy,
And strong like a tree"
And so... He created boys,
Full of spirit and fun to explore and conquer,
To romp and run
With dirty faces, banged up chins,
With courageous hearts and boyish grins.
When He had completed the task He'd begun,
He surely said, "That's a job well done."

God's wonderful creation - boys. Older prince with his 'ya ya' brotherhood.

Little prince with his little friends

Older prince wrote this in his school student handbook... Hope the teacher is not a detailed reader.

Being 'zen'

Recently, in my office, there is this joke about being 'zen' when the going gets tough. I had read a work-related email that was suppossed to be worrying and stressful but for some (sick) reasons, it tickled me so much I couldn't stop laughing. My colleagues thought I had gone bonkers.

In the past, when things got stressful, I would have been irritated and blown my top. Now, I am not so bothered any more. At first, I thought that must be a good thing but then on second thoughts, I might be repressing the negative emotions within me cos I still had problems sleeping at night. I guess for that particular incident, I had looked at the the picture from the outside, like a third party and somehow found it ridiculous yet funny.

Anyway, there is really no point getting stressed over things that are beyond my control. There is a theory that we all have our small sphere of influence. Beyond that sphere, we have no control and if we try, we get frustrated and unduly stressed.

'Zening' is not necessarily a bad thing. It's different from being apathetic though. 'Zening' by my definition, simply means ' don't sweat the stuff you can't control'. So, I'm going to try to 'zen'. ohm...

Rogue hawker

Last weekend, my family went to simpang bedok for breakfast. My hubby and younger prince ate the roti prata while I had some dim sum. My elder prince was craving for fishball noodles, so we ordered a bowl for him from the supposedly famous store in one of the coffee shops.

After about 20 min, we had all finished our breakfast and the fishball noodles was still nowhere to be seen. After the elder prince went to remind the hawker about his order, we waited another 10 min. Then I went to the hawker and asked if my order was ready as the whole family had finished our breakfast. The woman assistant raised her voice at me, 'how can you talk like that? What is your table no.? You got to wait. Everyone is waiting." Then I asked how long it would take, to which she replied, "5 bowls." I repeated my question. She repeated her answer and then added, "about 10 min la."

When the noodles finally arrived, I took out a $2 note and started to count some spare change slowly and left them on the table. She was so agitated that she snatched the money from the table and stalked off. And she was telling me that I gotta wait for my food, which took about 30 min to come. I took all of 10 sec to give her the money.

Bottomline is: If you want to eat good food served by rude hawkers, be prepared to wait and be insulted. For me? No thanks. I'd rather have instant noodles.

The value of breathing properly

I read some where that 9 out of 10 people breathe improperly. All babies and animals breathe in the right way but somehow as we grow older, we lose that instinct. Most people tend to breathe in a shallow manner, inhaling air up to the chest instead of all the way to their lungs. I am one big culprit. I'm a bad owner of my lungs and of my body, for that matter. When I'm focused on doing something, especially when I'm rushing for something, I forget to breathe. This is very damaging to my sleep and my health because all the breathes I forget to take during the day catch up with me at night, leaving me breathless and tensed when I hit the bed.

This is how I know I am not breathing properly:

Lie down on a flat surface and place the palms of hands on abdomen, just below ribs.

Breathe normally.

If the hand on the abdomen rises while chest is flat, that means you are breathing properly. If it’s the chest that rises while the abdomen barely moves at all, that means you are breathing improperly.

Even if we are not breathing properly, we can still correct it with daily exercises.

Here’s what I TRY to do on a daily basis:

Lie down flat your back with my knees bent so that your feet are flat on the floor. This can be done while sitting or standing up straight, too.

Place hands on abdomen, just below ribs, palms flat against stomach.

Breathe slowly and gradually through the nose, counting up to five. Imagine you are inflating a balloon in your stomach while you are inhaling. Your hands should rise with the abdomen as you breathe in. Make sure that your shoulders do not rise up while you are inhaling.

Hold your breath for a few seconds, but don’t prolong it.

Exhale as slowly and gradually as you have inhaled, counting to five. Imagine the inflated balloon in the stomach slowly deflating while you are exhaling. Your hands should also go down as your abdomen deflates.

We should practice proper breathing for around five minutes at a time, two or three times a day. We can do it the first thing in the morning, while taking a break from work, and before we go to sleep.

Having a proper breathing method may seem like a small thing, but it takes effort to remember and practice. I did a pretty good job when I was in Switzerland and at home but now that I'm at work, it's extremely challenging. But I will continue to try. I want to live life fully and for that to happen I must unlearn the bad habits and re-learn how to take life one full breathe at a time.

http://monsterguide.net/how-to-breathe-properly

New Year Resolutions

The initial New Year Days have come and gone and I have not come up with any new year resolutions this year. People have been telling me that making new year resolutions are a waste of time and effort because 1) you won't remember them, and 2) you won't keep them. That is mostly true. Every year, I have resolved to lose weight. Look at me. I probably lose like 2 kg in total in the last 10 years. So ya, new year resolution may not be worthy of my efforts but it will give me some focus and purpose for the year ahead. Without a road map at hand, we end up walking in all sorts of directions.

I have searched the web for some popular new year resolutions for inspiration. Here are some:

- Wear sunscreen - Protects the skin from frying and developing wrinkles.

- Pick up a sport/start an exercise regime - As we age, our metabolism will drop and our muscles will deteriorate, so without exercise, we are asking for trouble.

- Maintain a healthy weight - Enough said.

- Live to a budget - Do we really need that crystal hair clip or another pair of black shoes? I discover that usually if you wait a week, you don't really want the thing anymore. But if you still want it, get it!

- Make a date with my sweetheart regularly - My hubby started this ritual 10 years ago when my elder prince was born. Every Friday, he would bring me out without the princes. We may not be doing anything exciting all the time, but it gives us some space for couple time. It takes effort to maintain this ritual though.

- Choose a role model & then think, “What Would ____ Do?” - Make sure you choose the right one though.

- Every day, pay someone a compliment or do something that makes someone happy - This one is not easy to do in Singapore. But there is always someone doing something worth applauding - whether it’s the bus driver who is polite & smiley, or your kid trying to cheer you up. Tell them how much you appreciate it.

- Read - I'm not an NLB ambassador but I believe that reading feeds the soul. There is a Chinese saying that goes something like, "one day of not reading makes your appearance hateful." I guess it's saying that if you do not cultivate your inner being , your attitudes and behaviour just shows.

- Pray/ Self-reflect - It makes no sense to go through a wonderful life journey without assessing how you are faring and how you can make it better. For me, praying and self-reflecting are important things that I need to do. But having said that, too much inner-searching can be harmful when we become self-critical. So...

- Cut myself some slack - We all make boos boos and sometimes huge ones but we should get up, dust ourselves off, repair/ contain the damage and let's just move on.

Hong Kong 29 - 31 December 08

First Day - 29 Dec

I figured this would be my last chance to travel in 2008, so despite the protests and emotional blackmail from the princes about being away on New Year Eve, I flew happily to Hong Kong on 29 Dec.

We arrived at the 'fragrant harbour' around 3pm, took the airport MTR to Tsing Yi before hopping on a cab to Tsuen Wan. The hotel that we stayed in was called Dorset Far East and very near to the Tsuen Wan MTR. When we entered the room, I got the shock of my life. It's like the tiniest room I'd ever set foot on. I could almost touch both the bed and the room door with both my feet spread out. As for the bathroom, all I can say is that I kissed the walls several times whenever I took a shower. For a room rate of US$97, it is definitely over-priced.

On the MTR to Tsing Yi.

The tiniest hotel room.

And the tiniest bathroom.

After putting down our luggage, we headed out to look for some wanton mee, like everyone said we should. The concierge directed us to one nearby. Our first meal in Hong Kong turned out to be a disappoinment. The wanton mee was soup-based and the noodles were tough. Luckily, being one who likes variety, I also ordered a pork chop bun, which turned out to be yummy. The tea was also good.

Our first wanton mee in Hong Kong.

Then we explored the nearby shopping malls like City Landmark Shopping Centre I and II which have clothes that were relatively reasonable. I bought a pink shimmering cardigan that came with a tank top for HK$120 (about S$24) in one of the shops. We took pictures of some prime residential area in Tsuen Wan and were accosted and questioned by the security guard there. We pretended we did not understand a word he said and moved on.

The residential flats looked very tiny and hardly had any space to hang laundry. The windows were also very small. A little too claustrophobic for me...

After a quick shower, we were driven to an outskirt area (I think it's called sam jing) by some friends in Hong Kong to a famous roast goose restaurant for dinner. My first roast goose meal, which I have anticipated for so long. If nothing else, roast goose would be my main purpose for this Hong Kong trip. And man, it was so worth it! The fats and crispy skin that hit the mouth just made me go limp. The other dish worth mentioning is the ku lu yoke (sweet sour pork). Damn good. Crispy on the outside and soft on the inside.

The restaurant name (and mascot?).

Ooh... the fat yummy goose. Come to mama...

The spread included fried calamari, scallop and brocolli, ku lu yoke and some herbal soup with noodles.

Second Day - 30 Dec

The second day, I was on my own. I went to Tung Chung Citigate Outlet to take a look although some people told me it was not worth the long trip. I went anyway just because I thought I had a lot of time. There were a lot of designer and luxury shops having sale. I bought a black Esprit dress, which I really love and a hair clip from Evita Peroni, which is also something I have been looking for. So I am a happy woman.

Then I took the MTR to Prince Edward to meet the famous bo lo bao and egg tart. Man, the restauarant that sells the stuff is like a trading market, with people shouting their take-away orders and the staff shouting back, sometimes in not so friendly manner. Being a polite Singaporean, I stood and waited for my turn, which never came. So I told the staff I wanted an egg tart, repeatedly, cos I was ignored and my voice was drowned by the hollering around me. Finally I got my precious egg tart and munched along as I trailed Fa Yuen Market Street.

Most of the stuff in Fa Yuen looked pretty unimpressive to me until I chanced upon a shop called 'Mirror' that sold only black clothes. When I saw the clothes and the prices, I was excited. Finally something decent that were priced reasonably. Each piece of clothing was about HK$49-HK59 (about S$10-12). I bought 2 tops from there. The staff were super efficient. They came to me and recorded the item numers of the clothing I wanted on a slip of paper while informing her colleague on a walkie-talkie to get the clothes from the storeroom. I just needed to take the piece of paper, go to the cashier, collect my items and pay for them. Hong Kong people thrive on pressure, I figured somehow. They seem to be very fast and very impatient. And they don't stop for you when you ask for help. Makes me appreciate Singapore and Singaporeans more.

This is the famous restaurant that sells bo lo bao and egg tart.

Fa Yuen Market.

I drank a lot of this stuff - mango jelly drink. When the gooby mix of jelly and mango cubes glides down your throat, it felt disturbingly good. I wished this would make its way to Singapore soon. Costs about HK$22 (about S$4). Not cheap for a dessert drink but will buy again if given the chance :)

The tops I bought from 'Mirror' in Fa Yuen. Costs HK$49 (S$9) each.

The clothes I bought from a shop near Tsuen Wan MTR. Each costs about HK$59 (S$11).

The pink cardigan I bought from City Landmark (set costs HK$120 or S$24).

My beloved Esprit dress that costs HK$299 (S$55).

The street in front of our hotel.

In the evening, we decided to venture out to Tsim Sha Zui to have our dinner. We went to Chee Kei in Langham Place to have some crab porridge, beef stew and braised chicken wings. This meal was rather cheap - HK$130 (about S$25).

Beef brisket and tendons - so tender and flavourful.

The crab porridge didn't have a chance to meet the camera before its demise.

I introduced my hubby to the disturbingly good mango jelly drink. He liked it too. Hoi Lau Shan seemed to be everywhere, so we could get a fix anytime we wanted. Then, deciding that we still needed more food, we took a MTR to Mong Kok. We sampled some very good and cheap shui jing bao (chrystal bao) in some dingy shop and a skewer of curry fishballs (too much flour) along the roadside.

Then we trailed the delicious smell of claypot rice to a stall where a man was cooking like 20 claypots outside a small restaurant along the road. We ordered a chicken claypot rice (bo zai fun) with sausage and duck egg. We had to wait for like 30 minutes as the rice was cooked from scratch. We saw him taking raw rice from a bucket and raw meat from a container -everything from scratch, so it was a long wait but it was so worth it. My hubby and I practically scrapped out every morsel of rice in the pot.

The trick to fragrant delicious bo zai fun is to pour the soya sauce into the pot, cover it and let it simmer for 5 minutes before eating.

Doesn't look impressive until you taste it. The claypot rice is light colour, unlike the ones sold in Singapore.

We also sampled some potato skins from Ireland's Potato, a franchise found everywhere in Hong Kong. I still prefer the ones in Tony Romas.

A Christmas castle in Langham Place.

Christmas deco in Langham Place, which has a H & M.

Last Day - 30 Dec

I decided to check out Causeway Bay in the morning but found nothing interesting. Seemed to be a place for the rich people. When I travel, I like to go where the locals go, shop where the locals shop and eat where the locals eat. To me, that's the best way to truly experience a place. So, I headed back to hotel to meet hubby and we went to Mong Kok to search for lunch. We chanced upon this coffee shop that had some roast goose dangling temptingly, so we decided to satisfy our roast goose fix one more time. We ordered a goose thigh, a plate of fried rice and fried hot fun. Mmm... did I mention how much I like roast goose?

This plate of fried rice is 'power', with lots of shrimps, ham, sausage and egg.

This roast goose is not as good as the one in Yu Kei but still good.

After lunch, we took the MTR to Prince Edward again to see if we could try our luck at the chaotic place that sells the famous bo lo bao since I only tried the egg tart the last time. Before that, we walked around a bit and saw a huge crowd in front of a traditional biscuit stall that sells gai zai beng and kok zai. We bought some and tried on the spot. I'm not a gai zai beng and kok zai person, but these ones were good.

When we reached the restaurant with the famous bo lo bao, it was unsurprisingly crowded. The staff asked us to go in and wait. It was a restaurant but felt more like a foodcourt or a hawker centre. We had to share a table with another couple. This is very common in Hong Kong. There is no such thing as personal space. We ordered 2 bo lo yau (a buttered version), an egg tart and tea and observed the scene in the restaurant. It was chaotic. The staff were shouting orders and people were standing around waiting for seats and trays of bo lo bao were constantly being brought out. Not exactly a place to have tea, relax and catch up on a book.

The bo lo yau and egg tart were very good, so I guess the chaos was worth it but I don't think I would go there again. In fact, I don't think I would go Hong Kong again. It was a nice first time experience, especially with the food but it's not exactly an ideal holiday destination for me. I like to have space. When I get out of Singapore, I like to take it easy and experience nice scenery, good food and nice culture with a spot of shopping. Hong Kong is too much like Singapore or perhaps more hectic. So thanks for the experience but I'm not coming back.

The egg tart was piping hot and soft yet crispy.

The bo lo yau needed another slice of butter, I thought.

Christmas 2008

Christmas with close friends - 19 Dec

This year, Christmas with close friends took a slightly different slant from previous years. On a friend's suggestion, we were each given a card and everyone must write something about that person in the card. So we took some time passing the cards around. Until then, we didn't realise how long since we wrote a heart-felt card for someone and how we rusty we had become in our writing skills. We laughed and teased one another about taking forever to write something but it was really fun and meaningful.

The cards that contain all the heart-felt words from good friends.

This year's celebration was at a friend's house. Her mom is a marvellous cook, so we decided to go there every year. This decision was made without her mom's consent. Ha ha...

Friends for 20 years...

Friends for 24 years...

Christmas Treat at Changi Airport Terminal 3 - 21 Dec

We went to Changi Airport Terminal 3, Candy Empire to get some chocolates and candies as Christmas gifts. Because my hubby and I spent more than $60 each, we were each given a pass to enter the Candy House where we could collect free candies. Of course, we gave the pass to the princes. Upon entering the Candy House, the princes were each given a huge plastic cup to put as many candies as they wanted into the cup. The glee on their faces were palpable as they surveyed the area and stuffed as many of their favourite sweets and chocolates into the cup. The candies were just ordinary candies, but the thought of stuffing all the candies they wanted into a huge cup somehow made it a treasured experience.

The hansel and gretal candy house.

The anticipation...

The loot...

Christmas in the office - 24 Dec

A few of our colleagues ordered a Haagen Daaz ice-cream cake and bought some chips to celebrate on Christmas Eve (who works on Christmas Eve anyways?). We played a game called Guessture - something like charade on steroids. One person would act out the words on 4 cards, which would drop one by one into a box based on a timer. So the team members must guess the words before the card disappears into the box. A really fun charade with an edge.

The cake has a layer of chocolate and another layer of strawberry cheesecake ice-cream.

The mayhem...

The pressure...

And the many butt pointing...

Christmas with the relatives - 24 Dec

Every Christmas Eve is spent at my parents' place where all the relatives gather. It's like a preview to CNY, except that it's better because there are always presents and good food, gossips and casual banter. CNY tends to be less relaxing, with all the protocol and the pressure to remember who to give angbao to.

Glorious food...

A lot of pressure taking picture with the young ones. The cousins look 'power' with youth and beauty on their sides...

Sister-in-law and cousins. Less pressure now...

Tradition!!

As my older prince pointed out, it is our family tradition (we do a short dance with a finger pointing to the sky and say 'tradition' loudly, much like the father in 'Fiddler on the Roof' film) to go to Seah Street Deli at Raffles Hotel every year to have our dessert after the Christmas Eve party.

Traditionally, we also allow the princes to open one present on Christmas Eve every year. The rest of the presents can only be unravelled on Christmas Day itself.

Every year, we take a picture with the big Christmas tree in front of Raffles City Shopping Centre. I guess it is important to establish and observe family traditions. It gives a purpose to events like Christmas and brings the family closer. Even a 10 year old knows that :)