The grand scheme of life

One baseball player who made it to the baseball hall of fame was asked what he wished someone would have told him when he first started playing baseball. He replied, "I wish that someone would have told me that when you reach the top, there's nothing there."

There is also the story of a very wealthy man who said in his last days that he wished he had spent more time with his wife (he was divorced many times) and his children. Many people fervently pursue so-called successes only to realise their emptiness after years have been wasted.

I have heard so much power-struggle and office politics in the last few weeks from the private to the public sector to the self-help industry that makes me ask, "what's the grand scheme of things here? Is it power? Is it control? Is it fear?" I feel tired just listening to these, what more partaking in them. I guess I was lucky enough never having to dabble in politics. Basically, I refuse to be part of it, even though that does not give me immunity from it. I have been a victim of politics a few times but survived. A little bruises here and there but no great harm done. Maybe I was never in that kind of high position where politics can literally kill one's career.

But seriously, if it's not a matter of life (like losing one's job) and death (career death, that is), is it worth wasting time and energy to think of ways to outdo one another and be seen as the victor/ not the loser?

A couple of years ago, it would have bothered me very much about being seen as a loser in my career. But it occurred to me that many years from now, on my dying bed, I wouldn't remember or be remembered about being a star employee. That's not how I wanted it either. I'd rather be happy and carefree and know in my heart that I have been right with God. That does not mean that I absolve my responsibilities from being a good employee. I am accountable for the salary that I am paid but I will not make casualities of anyone (including myself and my family) because of it.

The bible says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30) and “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10b).

I am not a good christian, yet, but I know that putting God as the centre of my life is probably the best bet there is. He is the grand designer and my compass for the grand scheme in life. I can't think of a better life coach.

Save more, live simply

I watched an episode of Oprah the other day (this is the good thing about having the mornings to yourself) that features how to cut waste and live simply. It's amazing how wasteful the average family is. We leave the TV on as we fall asleep or do other things while the TV/computer is on, abuse plastic utensils, buy tons of clothes which we never wear, etc.

It got me thinking about my own spending habits. After admonishing a colleague for buying more sweaters/cardigans, I did an inventory of my own cardigan collection and was amazed that I have 16 cardigans. Just cardigans, not including sweaters and other long-sleeve shirts. I also did a check of clothes that I had bought but not worn. There are quite a few of them. So I told myself, 'Ok, no more buying of clothes unless the damn piece of fabric totally blows me away or it's a darn shame not to buy it cos it's so cheap and good.' I hope I can hold on to my promise cos I have been known to make such a promise and broke it like the very next day. Anyways, times are tough and although I'm lucky to still have a stable job, bonuses are going to be lean. So now is as good as any time to start reining in the spending monster and live a simpler life.

Here are some tips which I found on MSN Money on how to start using our resources wisely. I have also added my own:

1. Eliminate premium channels from our cable TV service.
2. Reduce phone extras such as call forwarding or waiting. I save $5 per month on caller ID.
3. Investigate whether bundled service (phone, high-speed Internet and cable television) might save us money.
4. Wash only full loads of dishes or clothes.
5. Use a clothesline and use dryer just to soften air-dried clothes.
6. Switch to compact-fluorescent bulbs, and turn them off when not needed. Turn off TVs, computers and other electronics when not in use.
7. Bring lunches and snacks to work.
8. Cook once, eat twice: Double whatever you're making and freeze the excess for a later meal.
9. Avoid overpackaged, overprocessed and highly advertised foods. The closer a food is to its natural state, the less it tends to cost.
10. Buy fruits and vegetables in season.
11. Cruise through the fridge daily to use items before they go bad.
12. Give up a vice (smoking, drinking, soda, salty snack foods).
13. Shop on Thursdays when NTUC has its weekly specials and plan meals accordingly.
14. Find out what looks good on us and stick to classic styles that won't look weird next season.
15. Inventory our wardrobe and buy pieces that work with what we already own.
16. Avoid dry-clean-only clothing.
17. Make hair appointments at beauty schools or neighbourhood salons.
18. Drop the health club and form a walking or jogging group with friends.
19. Hold a clothing swap with friends.
20. Ask friends and relatives for hand-me-downs for kids.
21. Check out consignment and thrift stores for lightly used items.

22. Don't buy magazines and books. Borrow from the library.

Little hamster face

Ah San came to my office today to show off her little precious and also to distribute full-month cakes.

I really like little Lyra. She is so fiesty and expressive. In the short span of time here, she cooed, grunted, poohed, sucked noisily on her mom's er-hems and showed off her dimpled little smile.

My colleagues thought that she looked like me. They also said that she looked like a little hamster. Hmm...

I told Ah San, one of these days I'm going to kidnap little Lyra. Ooh!! She's so darn cute!

Another reason for not going to work

Today when I wore my glasses after switching on my PC at work, I discovered that the text on my PC screen seemed blurry. When I removed the glasses and looked again, it was clear. After half a year of not staring endlessly at the computer, I realised that my astigmatism was cured. Huh! Another reason not to work.

I have started work only for 3 days and already I miss my home. On the first day, I thought about the garden view outside my window. On the second day of work, I thought, 'What the heck am I doing here? I don't belong here. There must be a better way of earning a living.' On the third day, I daydreamt about doing freelance work or working from home. Today, I discovered yet another reason not to work. I gotta settle in to work life soon or I will go crazy just struggling with this feeling of 'I don't belong here. But I need to be here.' Or I need to have a 1 or 2 or 3-year exit plan.

Maybe I just need time to adjust. Maybe I will be more motivated to stay when I see my pay slip and bonuses. Maybe I should migrate. Maybe I should just choose to lead a simple one-income family life. I don't know what I want but at least now I know the many benefits of not working in a box.

196 golden days

I can't believe half a year has passed me by. It seems like yesterday that I made the very hard decision to stop work and stay at home. I was inspired by an article about an american woman who dropped everything she owned and achieved to live a simple life in a foreign land. I was unhappy at work and at home for a while. I was frustrated at having to do things to please everyone. Basically, I was spread so thin I could barely breathe, literally. So against all rational thoughts and hesitation, I took the plunge. And the learning curve was steep.

I disliked staying at home at first. I disliked the housework and cooking botched meals for 2 unappreciative boys while getting cuts and burns in the process. I disliked the monotony of sending and picking up the kids and having no specific and meaningful things to excite me. Then, slowly and surely the learning curve got smoother and the elder prince started his CCA, giving me 2 afternoons to myself. I began to enjoy being at home, admiring my neatly hung laundry and proudly presenting my flavourful lunches to the princes.

The 2 one-dish meals that I have mastered well are chicken fillet and claypot rice.

Staying at home has many advantages, although many working moms feel that working has more advantages. This is a perenial debate that can go on until the cows come home and get themselves slaughtered. I have been on both sides of the fence and I can only say that it is good to experience both at different stages in your life. Life is not one straight line. In life's all important journey to fulfillment, we take different paths and sometimes stray a little to explore what's on the less trodden trails. We could choose to take the safe, straight highway to reach our goals or we could take the scenic route, which although takes longer to reach our destination, is probably more fun and enriching. Taking time off work feels a little like taking the scenic route. I go off course for a while and may take some time to catch up, but along the way, I gained perspectives and valuable experiences.

The many rewards of staying home for half a year:

1) Better skin
This is the first thing I noticed when I stopped work. The skin on my back is completely without pimples or blemishes. I myself am surprised at how smooth and clear my back skin is. My facial complexion still remains unchanged though, so it's really amazing. Maybe not working drains toxin from my body?

2) Opportunities to learn new things
With me being at home all the time, I'm always available to listen to problems and trivial gossips and of course teachable moments. I have taught the princes to resolve conflicts peacefully with their friends with great success, did art projects, created clay robots with them and taught them to play some simple card games. They are also able to perform simple household chores such as folding clothes and washing their own school shoes. The elder prince can even clean the floor. The princes also picked up cycling with ease. No rushing, just plain enjoying the process of learning how to cycle - first with 4 wheels, then 3 and 2. They are better cyclists than me now. For me, my biggest achievement in terms of learning new things is that I now can proudly boast that I can cook a full meal (up to 4 dishes) with ease. More importantly, I learn not to take things seriously. I learn not to rush things unnecessarily and to be in tune with myself and my family.

Our homemade clay robots. The princes had a competition after that to see whose robot could wobble faster.

The little prince's art project, made of egg carton, tissue box and other recycled stuff. It got selected to be displayed in the school.

The princes learned 21 and gin rummy quickly. No gambling allowed, of course. A rare set of cards by 3 players.

The little prince showing off some biker moves.

Learning how to blow a bubble gum.

3) Smelling the roses
With no work stress riding on my back, I'm better able to appreciate my surroundings and have fun with my family. Before, I hardly walked around the condo that I have lived in for 5 years. In the last half a year, at least twice a week, I would walk for half an hour around the estate with my younger prince while he cycled. I was also less hung up about things like what they should do or eat. Mostly, I try to give them healthy food but when my younger prince requested for chocolate waffle for lunch one day, I said, 'why not'. When the princes made rude jokes about farts and shit and their er-hems, I laughed and told them not to repeat the jokes to others. We also made up silly songs, commercials and dance moves, sometimes witnessed by some poor unwilling audiences, when the lift door opens suddenly. We often laughed after these incidences and hissed 'embarassing!' to each other and then continue doing them. Basically, I want to have fun with my kids without them feeling that they need to be wary of me. Of course, when they are out of line, they do time in the corner.


The little prince enjoying his choc waffle lunch.

I like spending time with little prince. He's always full of laughter and joy. Very infectious.


Roughing out at the pool.

A game of UNO.


Game of Life - Spongebob Square Pants edition. In this game, transformer and squidward faced off.


Elder prince entertaining himself with the laundry basket.

I also learned to relax more easily. In the past, I could not even relax on the spa bed. The masseuse would be asking me why my breathing was so laboured. Now, I learn to stare out my window without panicking and thinking, 'why the heck am I wasting precious time staring into space? I have to do this and this.....'. I like to stand at my kitchen window/balcony with a cookie or a drink in my hand and watch kids playing or the gardener trim or water the plants (no, I'm not a desperate housewife and the gardener is no shirtless hunk). I also make more impulsive decisions like going to Switzerland on a moment's notice. I panicked when my hubby booked the tickets, thinking, 'what have I done?!' But it was one of the best decisions I have made, like my decision to take time off work. Both were made on the same premise - although we are poorer financially, we are richer in experience.

My favourite view from my living room window.

4) Exercise
Working up a sweat needs time. With more time, I am able to lose a little weight exercising although I figured if I had also dieted, I might have achieved my happy weight by now. But then again, I like my food and I might as well enjoy them while I still have my teeth and my health.

Now that I have come to the end of my 196 days of hiatus, I shall not feel sad. I must learn not to wait for life to throw roses at me. I will learn to pursue a purpose and passion-driven life, every single day. Even in my darkest moments or moments when I lose purpose, I will remember to deliberately go into the 'woods' to find my peace and joy.

I wished to live deliberately...

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived … I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms..."

Henry David Thoreau

Recently, I had a bicycle accident that got everyone talking. The wound on my arm is rather nasty. I had not cycled for a long time and I did not have a proper bicycle but one day, my elder prince asked me to cycle with him, suggesting that I took his bike while he took his brother's. On impulse, I went along. I had forgotten how exhilarating it was to wheel down a slope and feel the wind in your hair. I had much fun but alas, I passed a narrow path and hit an aluminium wall at a construction site and scraped off more skin than I could bear. The pain I suffered from this accident lasted for days and I suspect there would be a scar.

At first, I regretted going for that bike trip but upon reflection, it gave me and my prince much joy, so it was worth it. I also realised that I had more wounds and bruises during this half year of hiatus than I had in my entire adult life. Then, it dawned on me that when you live life fully, you will have more chances of falling, literally and metaphorically. And falling is good. Not leading a perfectly well-planned and safe life felt good. And that is what I have done in the last half a year - I have climbed mountains, numbed my feet in the icy spring water, bathed naked in the open alps, acted silly in public with my kids, got cuts and bruises from water slides, cycling, cooking and challenged myself with new things like creating a blog, exploring the unknown, etc. Living life to the fullest does not mean perpetual happiness and comfort. It means you have made the decicion to live life deliberately and passionately, without fear and hesitation.

I love the movie, Dead Poets' Society where the above quote was uttered. Sometimes chasing one's dreams can be extremely hard but what is life if we allow others to dictate how we should live it? It's good not to work once in a while for it is when we are still that we are able to think clearly what we want out of life and appreciate life as it is, without the complications of materialism and human politics. I will always remember this half a year of my life in 2008 when I 'went to the woods...'

Do You Remember...

For those who grew up in the 80s and 90s, coke commercials were very prevalent and hip. That's before all the other more advanced, special-effects commercials came along.

This one is so corny and catchy that I still remember how my frens and cousins used to sing to this along with me. It was kidish but good old fashion fun, back in the days when the gameboys and x-boxes were not invented. Just like we used to memorise the MacDonald's Big Mac jingle, 'Two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion on a sesame seed bun' or something like that. Kids nowadays don't get to do fun things like that anymore.

I also remember the Jim Beam commercial where I fell in love with the very rugged kevin sorbo of hercules fame and his famous one-liner, 'This ain't jim beam' although I heard the drink tastes awful. I'm not able to find a video of that commercial though :(

A Little Experiment

I have been conducting a little experiment in the last few weeks. I decided that before I go back to work, I wanna see if I could be more patient and peaceful. This decision was spurred by a comment by one of my friends who noted that staying at home had made me a nicer and more patient person. I knew that I was impatient and sometimes aggressive. Ok, I'm impatient and aggressive. But I was still surprised at her comment. In the last couple of months, I did notice that I smile more and lose my temper less frequently, except for a few days every month.

I also wanted to see if I did my part in being a nice s'porean, would other s'poreans reciprocate? The first and most difficult test of one's patience is on the s'pore roads. I started by not driving in a hurried manner because when speed gets the adrenaline pumped up, hell some how breaks loose. I also tried to be courteous by waving my hand and smiling to the driver when I need to cut his lane in a crowded situation and consciously gave way to other cars. For this experiment, I would say 75% of the time, drivers reacted by being less aggressive. They did not horn at me and some times gave way to me. I was also less stressed out. I was amazed at the power of hand-waving. I guess drivers tend not to be nice because we are all boxed up in steel containers and we couldn't communicate other than by horning or hand gestures (good and bad ones), so a friendly wave is a good way to say, 'thanks' or 'excuse me, please'.

Note to self: Use friendly hand-waving often.

A new korean family shifted in next door a few weeks ago. I had wanted to start a conversation with the woman, who always brings her son for a walk, but never made eye contact with me. One day, while in the lift, I saw the boy holding a ball, so I said 'hi' to him and asked him if he liked playing ball. The mother smiled at me and we started talking. Score!

Note to self: Don't be afraid to initiate a conversation with strangers.

Like most people, I buy things for my parents, especially food, when it is convenient. But recently when the weather became unbearably hot, I drove all the way to bedok camp to buy the famouse 'qing tang' for my dad and my parents-in-law. As my dad owns a provision shop in the heartlands, the heat gets to him more than others. I bought 'qing tang' and lunch for him a couple of times for the last few weeks. My dad is not a man of many words or affection but I knew he appreciated my gesture when he bought me a packet of my favourite 'bak kwa' 2 days ago. He is a good father but also a very busy one, so I can count with my fingers the number of times he actually bought stuff for me. As for my mother-in-law, it was a long-drawn test of patience. However, it was worth it because her attitude towards me also became warmer over the years.

Note to self: Investment in people always reaps rewards no matter how long it takes.

I realise that in the past I was so busy and distracted that I hardly bothered to build relationship with others, even my family and friends. It was always 'touch and go'. It was the same in my relationship with God. When I stopped work, I was less distracted and I made a conscious effort to understand my kids better and spend more time with my parents. I also begin to spend more time praying and studying God's words and see that being a perfectionist is more harmful than useful. To have peace in my life, I find that being efficient yet not getting upset over mistakes or oversights is the way to go. Because, 10 years from now, I will forget those silly incidents but I will remember that I have made a difference in my relationship with people that matter.

Father's Love Letter

What is Father's Love Letter?

Father's Love Letter is a compilation of Bible verses from both the Old & New Testaments that are presented in the form of a love letter from God to us.

There are testimonies from thousands of people all over the world who have had a life-changing encounter with God while experiencing the message found in Father's Love Letter. Since 1999, this message has been downloaded from http://www.fathersloveletter.com/ in 85+ languages from people in over 125 nations. It has also appeared as full page newspaper ads and has even delivered to every home in entire nations.

This letter is the best love letter one can ever read and receive. I like the audio version. Sounds like Kenny Rogers :)

http://www.fathersloveletter.com/audio.html

Father's Love Letter

My Child, You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1
I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2
I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31
For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27
In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28
For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28
I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5
I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14
I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13
And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11
For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11
Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18
And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40
For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41
And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20
For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4
I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26
He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7
I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15
My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13
I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad, Almighty God

Our Happy Weight

I read in Feb issue of the American magazine, Self, that 87% of normal weight women wish they weighed less. I think we should stop obsessing and aiming for unrealistic weight that people in hollywood and the entertainment industries are falsely representing.

The mag recommends a formula to calculate our happy weight, weight that we should be happy with. See below:

Multiply your height in inches by itself (to convert cm to inches, divide by 2.5), then multiply by 0.031. (The answer will be in pounds). This is our weight at a body-mass index of 22, in the middle of the healthy range. But there are many factors that can contribute to our happy weight.

Multiply the number above by 0.95 if you have small frame and by 1.05 if you have big frame.

Add 1 pound if a family member is obese.

Add 2 pounds for each decade you are over 20.

Add 5 pounds if you have had kids.

Subtract 1 pound if you exercise and weight train once a week and subtract 2 pounds if you do so 3 times a week and subtract 3 pounds if you do so 5 or more times a week.

Add 4 pounds if you smoked at least a pack a day for a year or more and have quit.

Add 1 pound if you allow yourself a treat now and then.

Add the numbers to get your happy weight. To get your happy weight in kg, just divide the final number by 2.2.

All this time, I have been beating myself up for being way too fat. Even the doctors advise me to lose weight in order to keep my blood pressure on a healthy level. Although some people told me I look fine for a mother of 2, and my hubby loves me the way I am (and tells me he doesn't like skinny girls), I still get upset every time I step on the scale, thinking that I will never ever get close to my ideal weight. After doing this happy weight formula, I discover that I'm not that far off from my happy weight. I'm happy enough just knowing that it's an achievable goal. This gives me motivation to lose that last few kg. Many women give up because we compare ourselves with celebrities and those women in slimming ads and think 'I will never look like that'. But we don't have to. We lead real, less-than-glamorous lives and we all have different lifestyles. It is good to maintain a good and healthy weight but there is no need to starve ourselves and feel guilty when we gain a little weight. Life is really too short to waste time worrying about a little weight. So, I'm going to continue enjoying my chocolates every now and then and try to hit the gym as often as I can. Bottom line is: Being healthy is more important then being slim.

Fighting Common Illness the Natural Way

I am down with flu, together with half of the world's population. Saw the doc last monday but still having the sniffles. The doc had persuaded me to take antibiotics but I resisted because I wanted my body to fight it out. Looks like the virus is winning. I know it takes longer to heal without antibiotics but that's really not the natural way to heal. For the past 4 months while at home, my princes and myself have not seen the doc, except for myself last monday. They had a bit of cough and some runny noses now and then but I just let them fight out the illness on their own and at the same time providing good nutrition and supplements. I think taking too much medicine is harmful to the body. Now, I can afford to go by the natural route but when I return to work, I will not have the luxury of time. Docs usually only give a maximum of 2 days MC, so I may succumb to quick fixes again. Sigh...

Some kind docs have candidly told me that constant intake of medicine can harm the kidneys and other organs, even something as mild as panadol. There are always natural remedies for common illnesses. Of course, when the illness is serious, better be good and take all the necessary medication.

I found the following to be useful when having cold/flu:

• gargle throat with salt water
• drink lots of fluid
• drink homemade ginger water (just throw some ginger slices and cube sugar (bing tang) into boiling water to cook for abt 10 min)
• sleep and rest a lot
• skip the gym (walking outdoors is ok though)

Few Good Men... in Singapore?

In my recent conversations with my friends, we all lamented that there are no more good men left in s'pore. One of my friends told me that many of her colleagues' husbands are cheating on the wives, and these are good-looking wives. Some other friends also complain about their husbands/ boyfriends being dumb or numb or a bump. They all put the blame on the men. Although I think cheating men are scums and that most men are dumb, I also feel that women need to do some self-reflection. Not saying that women who have unfaithful men are to be blamed but it's good to examine why they find another woman more attractive. Some men are just naturally scumbags but some may have wives who are just difficult to live with.

People have said that S'pore women are not that easy to deal with. My hubby once told me that if he wasn't married to me, he would have stayed single or get himself an exotic wife. Granted that statement needs to be discounted in view of the 'scoring brownie point' factor, I will not disagree with him. We are aggressive, unforgiving and sometimes unreasonable, and that's me included. Our men here have a hard time managing us.

I do admire kick-ass girls, like one of my friends who will not hesitate to give some kids a piece of her mind when she overheard them criticising about their parents in public. Or another one who scolded a man for not giving up his seat for a pregnant lady in the MRT. However, sometimes in our eagerness to appear assertive, we kick wrong innocent asses or injure some asses unnecessarily. I, myself, sometimes find it hard to stand my ground and remain gracious in this city of competition - for seats, for sale items, for our voices to be heard. One classic example, I went to a movie with my kid and brought along our lunches. The ticketing guy stopped me at the entrance and told me that I could not bring outside food into the cinema, despite the fact that I have bought popcorn and soft drink from the cinema vendor. I demanded to see the manager, who insisted that I collect the food from him after the movie. That got me mad. I gave him a big piece of my mind and stormed into the cinema depsite his protests. Although it was a stupid rule, on hindsight, I could have dealt with it better. I'm not saying that all s'pore women are bitches but sometimes, we assert our rights a little too much and it can be scary.

Another thing about women, which is universal, is that we enter into relationships with unrealistic expectations. We can't expect a man who knows no difference between Tiffany and Taka jewelry to suddenly be an expert in buying us excellent gifts. Men get confused when we get angry over things like this. It's not their fault. They are slow-learners. And when you ask them to help with housework, just shut up and let them do their stuff. As long as the house is not on fire and the kids are not lost or hurt, let them rule the house for that moment. If your husband is housework-duh, teach him patiently and allow mistakes.

The way I see it is, men are like children. Set some basic rules and agreement that cannot be compromised, e.g., be home by 11pm or no divulging of couple secrets/bedroom matters to outsiders, etc. As for the rest, go with the flow. Choose your battles wisely and don't sweat the small stuff. This way, the world is a lot more peaceful and you have a partner who appreciates you for not running down his back all the time. This marriage thing is not easy. After 13 years of ups and downs and ins and outs, I'm still figuring it out. Thing is, men and women are very different yet similar. We have different likes (for men, it's basically sex and for women it's shopping) and dislikes (for some men, it's shopping, for some women, it's sex). But for sure, both men and women share one thing in common - we want to love and feel loved, respected and appreciated. So if we work on the similarities more than the differences, we should be alright.

Switzerland - 14 Aug 2008 - Last Day...

Last day at Switzerland...

I woke up and opened the kitchen window for the last time to breathe in some fresh air and thought about going back home. I missed the kids and wanted to see them but I also wanted to stay longer. I guess there will never be such thing as a perfect holiday. When we travel with the kids, we have so many things to consider and spend much time entertaining them but when we travel without them, we miss them.

I woke my hubby up to take our last morning walk in zurich. We took some pictures of the forest path where we walked most mornings, enjoying the fresh air and scenery as we talked. In s'pore, we hardly have time to talk and spend time with each other as he is always travelling. I think the past 10 days had been good for us, to relax and just be with each other.

After we packed the last of our stuff, we called the cab. While my hubby loaded our luggage onto the cab, I gave ah kin a hug and told her we would meet again in 1 and half month's time. As the cab drove off, ah kin's face looked a bit lost. I was a little worried for her cos she likes company and she loves to talk, but I knew that she would be alright. In fact, I think the half a year stay in swit has made her a stronger woman. Ah kin, you go girl! And until we meet again, fatten up please.


The path of peace and happiness. Why can't we have forest paths like this in s'pore? Our parks are just too neat and contrived.

A mini 'water-fall' from the river along the walking path.

The tress with red berry-like fruits.

The morning walk route.

We saw this quaint little country-like cafe in the swiss international airport.

The returning flight is never as good as the out-going flight. The former felt more bearable because of the anticipation and the latter just have a tinge of sadness, of a holiday that is over way too quickly. When we reached home, I had a short nap before meeting the kids for lunch. When the kids saw us, they flew to hug us. It was a nice feeling and the sadness of leaving switzerland was gone. Afterall, it is just a holiday. Our home is right here.

8 things we like about swit:

1. Fresh air - plenty of it
2. Hiking and living in the alps and mountains - not just admiring them from a distance but being in tune with them, 'becoming one with them'. So zen!
3. Chocolates - the fresh ones are very good but expensive but those from the Lindt and Sprungli Chocolate Factory are yummy and cheap
4. Real - although I complain about swit being tourist-unfriendly, it has managed to retain its authenticity and culture and has not been contaminated by the rest of the world yet.
5. Sausages and rosti, although we got sick of them after a week
6. Ovalmaltine - like nutella but with crispy bits. We polished off 1 bottle in less than a week.
7. Bread - the bread is always nice, even if it's a day old
8. Swiss made products - I have confidence in them as they are good and lasting

Seealpsee region, Appenzellerland

Ebenalp, Appenzellerland

St Gallen Church

Appenzell Town

Switzerland - 13 Aug 2008 - Lindt & Sprungli Chocolate Factory and Bellevue Old Town

Day before departure...

Time to shop for some souvenirs to bring home. We all decided that chocolate would be the best and most thoughtful gift (and economical too ;p). Uncle tan's friend recommended the Lindt Chocolate factory, which was in Schooren, about 11 stops from Bellevue on tram no. 165. Before we even entered the place, our olfactory senses were smack with the sweet sweet smell of coco. When we entered the place, it was like chocolate heaven - lots and lots of chocolates at low low prices. The chocolates here were like 40 to 60% cheaper than those in town areas but some of the packaging was not as nice la. Aiya, who cares about packaging as long as the contents are equally yummy? So my hubby and I started piling our baskets with chocolates in all flavours and sizes. While we went on a chocolate frenzy, ah kin calmly surveyed the area and mentally planned what to buy when she goes back in 1 and half months' time. We walked out of the store with 4 big bags and about SF150 worth of chocolates. At the tram stop, we began to worry how we were going to pack our horde of precious into the luggage.

We ate lunch at Little Saigon, which sold very expensive 'chap cai beng'. It was near to the tram stop from ah kin's house. Then we left the chocolates at ah kin's house and headed out to do some last minute shopping. We left ah kin at home to 'jaga' the chocolates. No la, she had too much excitement from the chocolate factory excursion that we asked her to stay at home to rest.

On our way to chocolate heaven.

The place that provided pleasure for the eyes, nose and tongue. Too bad there was no guided tour of the factory. Could only buy chocolates.

At the tram-stop outside the factory, waiting for Mr Sim to take picture. Ah kin: "Aiya, your hubby very 'beh zi dong' leh. Take picture so long. He don't know my hands are itching for those chocolates meh?!" Suisui: 'Cool down. The chocolates will still be there one. Give you one chocolate from my pocket first la." Great picture story huh? ;p

Four big bags of precious. Mua ha ha...

In our afternoon shopping spree, I bought a flik flak watch each for jeremy and myself since joshua already had a watch. I also bought a pair of cerjo sunglasses as my existing one had scratches. My favourite phrase which I had mastered very well during this trip was 'I need this.' These were swiss-made products so should last me for some time. Didn't buy any swatch as the prices were similar to s'pore's. Throughout the entire swiss stay, my proudest find was my red wind-breaker cos I couldn't find a similar one at about S$100, which was my budget. Then it was the brown leather belt which I bought out of need as I forgot to bring my belt. This belt held up my jeans for the entire swiss stay. I bought the belt from Tally Weijl, which is like Fox in s'pore at only SF9.90.

Some of the things I bought during my swiss stay. Clockwise from top: pink top from Schaffhausen at SF9.90, orange dye shirt from tally weijl at SF5, pink sweater from zara kids at SF9.90 (I also bought an orange sweater from zara kids at same price which I wore to appenzell), green tank top from tally weijl at SF5, white t from Schaffhausen at SF3.95 and sheer flower blouse from C&A at SF12.90. I also bought a green dress from C&A at SF14.90. As a reputed budget-hunter, I only look out for stuff that were cheap and nice or it had to be unique to interest me. I have too much clothes so I had to be very selective.

In the evening, we all met uncle tan at the main train station and walked to Bellevue for dinner. He had made a reservation at Restaurant Swiss Chuchi for cheese fondue. While entering the restaurant, I spotted 2 big men eating this sausage and rosti meal. I knew I told myself no more sausages for the rest of the swiss stay but this one called out to me. And it turned out to be a beautiful relationship. This beauty had cheese and bacon wrapped inside and out with some yummy brown sauce. It was a pleasurable but short-lived romance.

Showing off my new cerjo sunglasses.

Our first cheese fondue meal. The alcohol was a bit strong but the cheesy crusty residue towards the end was marvelous. We had fun scrapping them off.

Although this was the second time we went to Bellevue, we did not explore the place cos the previous time, my hubby was climbing the tower while I was busy shopping. A rather nice place to walk. Very crowded for a Wednesday evening.

The cheese fondue left us all very thirsty, so we went around looking for a place to drink. Then we chanced upon this remote place with many people eating al fresco, so we decided to walk in. The interior was a pleasant surprise. It was like entering into a tropical country, with palm trees and bamboo fans and lots of tropical plants. The owner, who must be mexican, was very hospitable, shouting for us to go right in. Although we only ordered 2 beer (futchsberg) and 2 desserts (chocolate cake and vanilla ice-cream and some creme brulee with fruits that came with burning alcohol), he gave us a plate of complimentary snack - some fried banana with salsa.

We took a tram back to Smiede Wiedikon and on the tram ride, somehow the topic of 's**t' came about. It was a gross but funny way to end the outing.

The first dessert. The second dessert suffered a quick demise before we had a chance to take a picture of it.



Two empty plates, very well cleared out and 4 very happy stomachs.

The night view of Bellevue was beautiful.


Passed by Migros on our way back. Migros, our favourite 'NTUC' in swiss. We went there a couple of times in the morning at about 8am to get fresh bread and croissant.

Schmiede Wiedikon, the region where ah kin stays. I like the sound of the name.

The tram station where all our journeys began. Rather sad not to see it again.

Tomorrow we would bid farewell...

Switzerland - 10-12 Aug 2008 - Appenzellerland (Part III)

12 Aug 2008 - Seealpsee, Jacobsbad and Urnash

Our last day in the mountains before returning to civilisation. A little background on Appenzellerland. It is situated in the eastern part of Switzerland and is known for its gently rolling green hills, flowery meadows and rugged mountains. It is made up of 2 cantons. We were staying at the southern, or the alpstein region, which assumes the hilly, wooded landscape.

After breakfast, we untied the one of the 2 boats and rowed round the lake. The interesting thing here was that the inn never charged anyone for using the boat, even non-residents. Anyone could have a go. As it rained the night before, it was a little chilly out but the air was FRESH! The boat ride also gave us a different view of the entire place.

The happy boat-rower.

The happy boat-rowee.

The view of our inn from the boat. The inn looked almost mystifying yet welcoming at the same time, like a home.


The farmhouse on the left was where we had some fresh milkshake (no ice-cream though, just fresh milk and some coffee powder) and the one on the right was where we had our whey bath. Although these farmhouses shared the same lake as the inn, it took 10 to 15 minutes to walk there. After the boat ride, we packed up and relunctantly said goodbye to the lovely waitress who tried her best to communicate to us for the last 2 days and checked out of the beautiful mountain inn.

More feet soaking in a small stream before we exit the mountain region to take a train to urnash. The water was icy cold. After a minute or so our feet felt numb, so we lifted our feet, ate some chocolates then dip some more. I also picked some smooth cool stones to bring back home as momentoes.

An unexpected find enroute to urnash. While approaching Jacobsbad station, we saw a rugged amusement park with a roller-coaster that looked different, more like a slide. We made a rash decision there and then to alight and check it out, barely made it out before the train door shut. The roller-coaster slide cost SF9 for the 2 of us. Finally found something cheaper than s'pore. It appeared mild as it started slow, which was ok by me cos I was just happy to enjoy the scenery and cold wind on my skin. 'Looks are deceiving' would be an appropriate phrase to use on this thingy. The slow rickety start turned into a series of sharp twist and turns and ups and downs. My hubby had wanted to take a video of lush tranquil scenery but ended up capturing the dizzy movement of the car and the wild screams of his crazy wife. It was another pleasant surprise and the reason why we never liked package tour. Only when you travel on your own will you have the pleasure to live like the locals and discover new things.

Some hotels in urnash. Seemed like most urban houses looked like that. We wanted to check out a restaurant called Sonne which reportedly had some very nice veal ravoili but we couldn't find it and the town was like a ghost town. We couldn't see more than 5 people within a span of 10 minutes in this town and more than 99% of them spoke no english. A little too quiet and spooky. So we ended up eating in a small little cafe with only 1 table of old folks and another table of young people and yap, we ate sausage and swein (pork) snitchzel and potatoes again but we came prepared. We brought along macdonald's garlic chilli sauce to eat with these bland-looking stuff. The chilli sauce woke up my tongue and gave the meal a different edge. If the chef knew what we did to his food, he would have chased us out with his swiss victorinox chef knife. After we finished, we decided to be kind to the chef and hid the chilli sauce packets in the paper napkins and made a quick exit.

Although swiss food was generally not as diverse and kick-ass or kick-tongue as s'pore food, the views were always great.

We stopped by a shop that sold appenzell products and bought some cookies, flauder sparkling mineral water and a bottle of beer for ah kin and uncle tan. When we reached ah kin's house, we were happy to know that she had prepared our dinner. We bathed, did some laundry and sat down to a scrumptious meal. Both ah kin and uncle tan must think that we were very hungry cos we gobbled up all the food on the table. Somehow, people don't get tired of asian food as easily as ang moh food. Maybe because asian food is generally more varied and flavourful and less jerlat.

Later in the evening, my hubby did a show-and-tell of our appenzell stay and we ate some sprungli chocolate cake that I bought from the main train station. We also tried the appenzell cheese which ah kin found too strong. This was also the night that I made a great discovery - ah kin reminded me of the cows in appenzell, who ate all day, from the time we woke up at about 7am to our sleeptime at 11pm, we could hear the cow bells, signifying that the cows were still grazing. Ah kin nearly fell off her couch laughing when I told her my observation. Well, some people are just lucky - eat all day and still no ounce of fat on them. Tsk tsk...